Confessions of an Aspiring Author: The Fear of the Blank Page

Be it the first page on Microsoft Word or the first fresh sheet in that new leather bound notebook, I always find myself staring at that empty space with an expression as blank as the page itself. I even suffered from it when writing this article, I suffer when starting an essay question and I suffer worst of all when starting to write creatively. No matter what the subject, no matter what my level of confidence is on the subject matter, I will let my fingers hover over the keys of my laptop, my pen linger over the paper and I will remain frozen in that position for at least ten minutes. 

A combination of insecurity and confusion overwhelms me. My hesitation to type comes, not from a lack of ideas – I think you’ll find my imagination is constantly in overdrive, spitting out ideas like a rabbit in heat – but rather from something a lot more sinister.

The fear of the blank page. 

One of the most dangerous phenomena a writer can experience. A fear that can cripple an aspiring writer before they’ve even begun. It is this fear that words written can never be unwritten, that the words that come tumbling out of the mind will not make sense, not convey what was supposed to be conveyed or simply not be good enough.  

I experience that fear way too often than I would care to admit. It doesn’t even matter what I’m writing. A poem, an article, the ever feared ‘Chapter One’ of a novel, a goddamn shopping list! If it requires me to write something down on a blank piece of paper, you can pretty much guarantee that I will wonder how I should write it, how I should set it out, what font to use, what font size, should I leave a line between my paragraphs, should I indent my paragraphs with a tab to display clearly that a new paragraph is starting right there? So many pointless and irrelevant questions swirl through my head when I start to write. Sometimes I let those questions and that fear beat me. Sometimes I end up slamming the lid of my laptop down or throwing my notebook across the room in frustration because I believe that I simply can not do it. 

Future Shock

There it was again. That thought you've been pushing to the back of your mind, the same thing that's run through your head through endless hours of Netflix browsing, timeline-refreshing and new lows of laziness: "Soon, I'll be a college student." Yup, that's right, your high school days are already over, and pretty soon you'll be expected to become A Responsible Adult (or at least act like one). The next few steps of your "learner journey" (yawn) will mean you have to make a number of choices, whether it be your courses, settling into college life or just a complete change of image. If you're panicking at just the idea of these, then let me give you some advice. 

What did you want to be when you grew up? A vet? A footballer? Spiderman? Well, now is the time to make those dreams a reality! (Except Spiderman, I can't work miracles.) Yes, college may seem a lot more in-depth and serious than what you're used to, but it gives you the chance to work towards the career you've wanted for ages, but would never dare tell your mates about.

Marvel's Daredevil: Neflix Series Review

I know I'm a bit late to the party on this one but I've only just finished the series so, forgive me.  

So, the Netflix original series Daredevil stars British actor Charlie Cox - which I had a 'holy shit, really?' moment when I realised it's the same guy that's in that old film Stardust, and I've had Rule the World by Take That stuck in my head for the last three days. My quickie overall review for the series in four words would be 'Well... okay... that happened.' And for those of you who don't speak the language of the severely sleep-deprived due to an eighteen hour-long Harry Potter marathon, that roughly translates to 'It was pretty damn good'. 

Charlie Cox's (Cox'? I don't know) portrayal of the blind lawyer turned vigilante, Matt Murdoch was pretty impressive. Quite a few people's interpretations of how blind people move and act are based on the fact that they've never seen a blind person in, well, person, and they base their characterisation on old videos of Stevie Wonder playing the piano. But Cox's (I'm going with that one. You'd never guess I was an English student) portrayal was subtle and accurate. So much so, I didn't recognise him until the sixth episode. 

I also love how the young actor, Skylar Gaertner, portrayed the young blind Matt as I think it would've been extremely easy for such a young actor to go into over-acting mode when portraying such a delicate situation. You know you've done a good job when you leave such a good impression on the audience after only three episodes. 

There are other actors in the series, obviously. Deborah Ann Woll's performance as Karen was also fantastic. However, I felt Eldon Henson's 'Foggy' - Matt's best friend and legal partner, was slightly disappointing. Don't get me wrong, Henson was great at the comedy side-of-things, but apart from the lols, I just wasn't convinced. And when his character did face dysphemic themes, there was always drink involved, meaning the humour was inappropriate when it just wasn't necessary.