At the moment I'm not in the mood for writing. It's nothing
against the two of you that actually read
this stuff, but college has just
reached a certain point now where I'm literally considering the practicality of
running away and joining the circus that's touring where I live. I mean, I've got no practical or athletic skill that would assist them in any way, but I have brain smarts and that's all that matters, right?
So yeah, stress on top of stress on top of food and sleep
and essential idiotic Facebook prank video viewing time, equals a depressed,
stressed and not-even-that-well-dressed student, who doesn't even know what
she's doing with her life in the next few months, never mind for the
foreseeable future. And, yes, that was a hellishly long sentence with no sign
of any correct punctuation in sight, but that is what A-Levels have done to me.
Actually getting an English qualification has evidently worsened my English
skills, as well as depleting my number of friends, and eradicating any form of
social life I once had.
But I have been revising, which surprised me, let alone the
majority of my teachers. (I say 'majority', I literally have three.) Yes, I've
been revising, I've also cut-down on the amount of weekly existential crises
I've been allowing myself a week (I'm calling it the Crises Crunch), which is a
step forward, yeah? Yeah? Yeah, it is.
So on top of the list of things I'm currently teetering on
the edge of an oh-so-welcoming abyss because of is probably the imminent
catastrophe of the summer exams and the five month countdown to when I'm moving
into my uni halls. to make matters even more lovely, my university decided it
would be a fantastic idea to send me a lovely little leaflet through my door
and into my life that had a giant number five on it and, in capital letters,
read; 5 MONTH COUNTDOWN TILL UNIVERSITY (EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE
HARROWING 3-YEAR LIFE SENTENCE YOU'VE JUST DROPPED YOURSELF INTO)
Ok, so it maybe didn't say the last bit, but still, my knees
almost gave way when my mum gave it to me an said 'Ooh, not long now!' Like,
yes Mother, I know you've had enough of me, but don't have children, mate, if
the only light you can see at the end of an other wise oppressing tunnel is
your only child moving away out of your life.
I just thank the Lord that I'm not re-sitting anything this
year. If I was, I wouldn't be writing this now, because I would've sailed to
some far corner of Eastern Europe, to some remote town with more consonants
than vowels in the name, with no internet connection or running water. On
second thoughts, maybe not - probably wouldn't survive. And I think we all know
that it wouldn't be the possibility of daily salmonella or lack of clean water
that would do it for me - where would I get my daily dose of BuzzFeed top tens?
So what am I doing? God knows. Where am I going? God knows.
I'd ask him, but I don't think he listens to atheists.
(I found an archive of Inbetweeners memes.)
Rebecca.
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