It is often awkward to start writing. That’s one of its difficulties I suppose, how do you really introduce what you’re meant to write? That may be one of the weaknesses to what I will be writing, they will not be the most fluid articles. Anyhow, this is the first article I have written and rather than a banter filled explosive story about how Pineapple Pen or some other online trending topic is hilarious (that I will no doubt regret in three months when it reads as the most dated piece of literature to disgrace the web), I wanted to use this opener to perhaps state what to expect of my articles.
These posts won’t be churned out like Minion Dolls out of a Chinese factory in November, nor will they be as infrequent as Donald Trump’s claims and facts. The fore-mentioned character will be prevalent in these posts, as will Clinton, Mrs May, Jeremy Corybn and any other character that perks my interest. I will try to make these posts as factual as possible (for posts about the news, that actually might be expected, but you’d be surprised) as well as occasionally give a mention any sort of thing that might actually be relevant to you as you read this and wonder “who the hell cares.” (Un)Fortunately for you fine folks, I do care so hurrah!
As you can tell, politics and current events are my interest, so I currently feel like a IT nerd in Curry’s. To understand why, I’m not going to bother explaining. Am I lazy for doing so? Probably but there is method in the lunacy. Bugger, this articles is a shambles. The point is that I like it when I flick on the news and they are addressing the facts and shouting at whoever is responsible, it makes me a happy little bunny. What I don’t like is the opposite, the news ignoring facts. So treat this like a behind the scenes where I will be presenting facts, events and quotes in response to whatever headlines the BBC or Sky has decide to throw at the audience at tea time. There is so much going on, the worst two candidates for the White House at each other whilst we have an actually Socialist leading the Labour party. See? Already you know the godforsaken ramblings that will be on the posts typed by my caring hands.
To try and give you a preview of what to expect, let’s find something to talk about now. A person perhaps you didn’t know about. Why not everyone’s favourite nobody, Mr Michael Pence. He is not a name that many may know of, despite the fact he is about to become President of the United States.
How, I hear you ask as you wish you had decided to read that dazzling review that was above this mess?
Because of a little bit of leaked information dating back to that warm month of July when everyone came to the RNC to join hands and celebrate Donald Trump turning from an ultra-rich racist to, The Republican ultra-rich racist. It, like anything a bunch of conservative bigots tried to organise, was a bit of flop with journalists have fights (or in Jimmy Dores case, spits) and Mike Pence was picked to be the running mate to Donald after he offered his VP to be in charge of “Domestic and foreign policy.” For anyone chewing a piece of cardboard who misclicked onto the article and wondering what that means, it is like electing Donald Trump as the Queen who will make state visits and still holds power over some things and electing his VP to be the Prime Minister who does the day to day governmental running’s. Except the Queen doesn’t have an arsenal of hundreds of Nuclear warheads that are itching to be fired.
If you’re like me and would’t touch Donald Trump with a wooden stick, even if the stick offered to pay you for the inconvenience, this might sound like a viable positive. A Trump presidency might be bearable if it’s the usual Republican buffoon in actual power and Trump lampooning around like a chimp after being granted an enclosure. The Bush years were, what they were, but Reagan and George Bush senior were not bad(?) Presidents when compared. So what does this Mike Pence offer to the White House and the world?
Bugger. All.
Pence is what we like to call the “Ultra-Conservative” whom revels in his beliefs that are a bit Christian. Anti-homosexuality, a worse track record than Clinton by being in bed with the McCain clan and a Pro War gun-nut, it really is the model for what the political right are starting to boil to in this cooking pot of nationalism and upheaval. But wait there is more.
You simply thought this would be talking about the nobody on the Republican Side?
We forgot dear old Timothy Kaine, the biggest waste of space for a Presidential Campaign aside from the victory balloons Mitt Romney lugged around everywhere in 2012. He speaks Spanish and is a liberal by title but comes across as a nuance Republican, a centrist if you will. Gun owner, supporter of Medi-Care but not a backer of universal healthcare (the NHS to me and you), it’s like a packet of revels which are either malteaser or vinegar flavoured. That has been the Democratic tone this whole mess of a campaign season, the bumbling Republican promises of war with Syria and that was evident in the debate these two had to try and defend their failing candidates. It also showed as even if Donald Trump was sucked into a black hole or Hillary Clinton drowned in all her Wall street money or even better, both just vanished, their replacements would not even be better, just slightly less bad than the predecessors. So good luck America. And that about wraps up this cringe-fest.
Understood? Good, you’re dismissed.
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